dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
