shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
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