My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize