So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
