you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I am naked and annoyed.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
