Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
you made out with another girl for some wings
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize