That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
