Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
