I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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