Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
