I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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