I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
