I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
