You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
birth control should be required to get into college
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
