No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
