a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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