Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
