It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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