Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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