like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
