i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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