I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
