he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Randomize
