Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
