holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
