so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
