he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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