You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I would fuck him just for his dog
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
