first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I think im going to throw up on grandma
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
