Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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