it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
