walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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