I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
God I need to hump something, right now.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
