When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
