I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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