i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
