omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
