I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
