Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Randomize
