No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
