The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
