bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
