Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
one two three fourrrrnication!
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize