she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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