It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
