these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
