he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Can I color on your dick again?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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