I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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