here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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