I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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