wat bout pragnant strippers??
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
