He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
