I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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