Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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