She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
