Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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