I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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