That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize