id be glad to
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He kissed a someone with a penis
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
